Six Months

It's been about six months since my August '19 episode, and much like the one I had in May '18, I'm having a hard time not thinking about it.  Unlike the first one, though, which I felt a lot of positivity about, all I have are bad feelings about the second one.  I'm still having...

I Can’t Watch

It's another Presidential election year in America, and judging from what I've seen on the internet, this one's not going to be any easier than the last one.  In some ways, it feels like the last election never ended, and people seem more polarized than ever.  Only instead of there just being the usual single...

The Relativity of Suffering

I've been relying heavily on the digital version of the Osho Zen Tarot that is built into AstroMatrix for about a year and a half now. I wrote to my therapist one day about the cards that had been repeating for me at the time (about 4-6 months ago, I think): ice-olation, slowing down, and...

The Practice of Reading

I have been reading since I was three years old, which means that perhaps millions of words have passed through my eyes in the last 45 years.  Imagine my dismay upon discovering that I essentially had to relearn how to read after The Zombie Years, which is how now I refer to what I once...

Rejoining

It's getting easier to not repeat myself, either in my journal entries and emails to my therapist, or to other people. I had so much in my head and so much to say for so long that I would often tell the same story to different people and then forget who I had told, which...

Farewell to a Kingly Person

Man, talk about timing.  Not two weeks ago, in my post "The Book of Men", I talked about how I had essentially used the wisdom of Neil Pear,t as set to the music of his drums and his friends, Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson from the band Rush, as a replacement for whatever Dad-type wisdom...

Tales from Stop ‘N Go

I've had a lot of working class jobs over the course of my life: Target cashier, small band roadie, waitress, bartender, dishwasher/busser, bookseller, and a smattering of clerical jobs, like a lot of women.  I think one of my most interesting jobs, and one of the hardest, was working the swing shift at a Stop...

Re-Emergence

It's been a long time since I updated here.  Last year I transferred everything here to another blog, which I have since closed for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is that I now reject the label "bipolar", but that's a long story that's going to take some time. One of the...

Swimming in Glue

I recently stopped taking one of my drugs that my shrink has actually been trying to get me off of for some time now.  I'm not now entirely sure why I was so resistant, in hindsight.  When I first started taking it, I think it was doing me some good.  But after a while, it had...

A Quiet Year

2014 was largely uneventful for me.  Which is good.  I like quiet and uneventful.  Which isn't to say it wasn't a good year: it was.  My husband's job got reorganized and in the process he got a raise and the ability to work from home.  Which was a good thing, because I quit my job...

Changes

Hello Gentle Readers.  I haven't posted since July of last year.  I don't think I've had much to say, really.  Even my private journal over at LiveJournal hasn't seen much action for the last few months.  Life was kind of boring.  I took the kid to school, went to work Tuesdays through Thursdays and on Saturdays,...

Spiritual Nomad: Week Four

I started this post back in March, when I was really deep in Spiritual Nomad along with some other stuff.  Then most of it came to a screeching halt for a variety of reasons (mostly illness and injury), and here I am, still knee-deep in Chapter 4.  It's a fun chapter, too.  I get to...