Turn the Page

As has been the case since my initial manic episode/awakening in May 2018, I often think back on what I was doing a year ago or two years ago on any given day, and lately I'll go as far back as three years for comparison.  This is a useful exercise for someone who tends to...

The Imagery of My Subconscious, part 3

After my hospitalizations, I did a lot of painting just to paint.  I also hate wasting paint, so I wound up doing a lot of texture exploration using paint that was still usable, but had thickened a little due to drying on the palette. An artist friend took note of what I was doing and...

The Imagery of My Subconscious, part 2

Not long before my manic episode in August '19, I started using watercolor paints in addition to sticks and pastels.  My drawing teacher in college told me one day, "You want to paint," upon observing the way I drew, and she was right: I was fascinated by the act of painting, though it would be...

The Imagery of My Subconscious, part 1

Sometime during the Zombie Years, around 2013, I attempted to begin art journaling as a way to not only get some artistic expression going in my life, but also for its therapeutic value.  I had seen numerous friends and other people on the internet producing beautiful art and essentially administering self-therapy in the process.  I...

Healing Garden

Well, it's been just over a week since the cat died. I feel much better today than I did a week ago: I cry a little less each day. I planted a whole garden a couple of days after we buried him, and now the seeds are coming up. I go out to water them...

How Do I Pray? Let Me Count the Ways

It seems to me that there are probably as many ways to pray as there are people on the Earth.  We also seem to group together according to how similarly we pray, I've noticed. When first I asked the question of myself, "How do I pray?", the answer was, "I don't."  Immediately followed by, "Bullshit."...

Stuck Again

When we last left our intrepid spiritual traveler, her altars had just reassembled themselves. Since then, I've just been letting them occupy their space and sink their energy tendrils into the house. I've also continued to work on my spiritual scrapbook like a madwoman. I don't know what it is about that particular project that...

Writing, Gardening, Spirituality

I've been neglecting my little blog here.  It started as a way to explore my particular spiritual journey and then morphed into a venue to spew my thoughts about being diagnosed as bipolar.  That was just over a year ago.  Since then I've found a set of meds that really help but don't cause any...

Fear, Doubt, Letting Go

I've been keeping to myself lately, from a virtual blogging aspect anyway.  Almost a month ago, I became gripped by a deep doubt about almost everything.  In particular, my writings here as well as my semi-private journal.  It was akin to suddenly feeling like the Emperor in his new clothes, as though I had been...

Rites of Passage

Damn it's a cold day in Central Texas today.  We have a saying around here: if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes.  Two nights ago, it was 39F.  Last night it was 51F.  Tonight it will be 24F: right now it's 39F at 1:30pm while yesterday it was in the 60s.  Yay Texas!...

The Death of a Passion

I've been going through a lot of changes this year, many of which I'm quite sure I'm not even aware of yet and won't be until I can look back on 2010 with some context and perspective.  Astrologically speaking, this was the end of my Pluto Square, which is one of the top three major...