The Lines That Divide

It is now just shy of 100 days until the next US Presidential Election. It seems like an eternity since the last one, when I sat on my bed in front of the TV, watching the returns on NBC, and shaking my head in disbelief as Trump's red bar slowly rose above Hillary's blue one....

Astrology and America

These are very strange times indeed in America, and this is reflected in the current astrology patterns. The planets from Jupiter out to Pluto are all in places where great change occurred the last time those planets were in those positions. We are currently experiencing a massive correction of imbalances that have been in place...

Turn the Page

As has been the case since my initial manic episode/awakening in May 2018, I often think back on what I was doing a year ago or two years ago on any given day, and lately I'll go as far back as three years for comparison.  This is a useful exercise for someone who tends to...

Independence Day

It's Independence Day, not that I really care.  I'm pretty goddamned put out with America right now.  The land itself is beautiful and precious, but the people who live here: holy fuck. Maybe my perceptions are clouded because of the state I live in, because I know other parts of the country are FAR more...

Distant Early Warning

Ever since my first manic episode two years ago, I've wanted to come up with a system by which I can monitor my mental health, as can others around me. I'm a highly analytical person, so I've spent considerable time going over the events surrounding my episodes, as well as events leading up to them....

The Body Keeps the Score

Over the last two years since I had a major breakdown in May '18, I've done extensive personal research on a wide variety of topics related to my mental health.  I was partially driven by a desire to find alternative treatments to harsh psychiatric drugs, as well as better explanations for precisely what was happening...

The Imagery of My Subconscious, part 3

After my hospitalizations, I did a lot of painting just to paint.  I also hate wasting paint, so I wound up doing a lot of texture exploration using paint that was still usable, but had thickened a little due to drying on the palette. An artist friend took note of what I was doing and...

The Imagery of My Subconscious, part 2

Not long before my manic episode in August '19, I started using watercolor paints in addition to sticks and pastels.  My drawing teacher in college told me one day, "You want to paint," upon observing the way I drew, and she was right: I was fascinated by the act of painting, though it would be...

The Imagery of My Subconscious, part 1

Sometime during the Zombie Years, around 2013, I attempted to begin art journaling as a way to not only get some artistic expression going in my life, but also for its therapeutic value.  I had seen numerous friends and other people on the internet producing beautiful art and essentially administering self-therapy in the process.  I...

Six Months

It's been about six months since my August '19 episode, and much like the one I had in May '18, I'm having a hard time not thinking about it.  Unlike the first one, though, which I felt a lot of positivity about, all I have are bad feelings about the second one.  I'm still having...

I Can’t Watch

It's another Presidential election year in America, and judging from what I've seen on the internet, this one's not going to be any easier than the last one.  In some ways, it feels like the last election never ended, and people seem more polarized than ever.  Only instead of there just being the usual single...

Why Do We Fall?

I talk about the difference between now and the previous year quite often.  This is something I do on an almost daily basis now, largely for the purposes of a daily confidence boost, because the difference is like night and day.  Everything in my life has changed, so much so that I wouldn't be able...